1. Fragments
A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence; it lacks either a subject, a verb, or both. The type of sentence fragment produced by ESL students is often a subordinate clause detached from the main clause.
Even with disguises and intricate systems of personal security.
When people eat and drink to excess.
Since the cost of living is so high in Hawaii.
Having suffered all day from a migraine headache.
The doctor, who is a prominent member of society.
2. Run-Together Sentences
When two sentences are written as one with no punctuation between (nor an appropriate conjunction), you have a run together sentence.
My back hurts it is weak.
This is my last course / graduate next month.
To correct:
a) Use an appropriate conjunction.
b) Separate the two sentences with a period.
c) Separate the two sentences with a semicolon.
3. Comma-Splice
When two sentences are separated by only a comma, the result is a comma splice.
He ate chicken that was not cooked properly, it made him sick.
/ read many books when / was a child, my favourite books were about animals.
To correct:
a) Use an appropriate conjunction.
b) Separate the two sentences with a period.
c) Change the comma to semicolon.
Source: ESL Lessons for you
Showing posts with label ESL sites. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ESL sites. Show all posts
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Idiom for today
on ice
To say that a plan or project is put on ice means that all further action has been postponed for an indefinite period of time.
►Plans for a nuclear power station have been put on ice.
To say that a plan or project is put on ice means that all further action has been postponed for an indefinite period of time.
►Plans for a nuclear power station have been put on ice.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Word for the day
fettle \FET-l\, noun:A state or condition of fitness or order; state of mind; spirits --
often used in the phrase "in fine fettle."
Aside from the problems with her voice . . . Miss Garland was in fine fettle last night.-- Vincent Canby, "Judy Garland Sets the Palace Alight", New York Times, August 1, 1967
Back in 1987, the Conservatives won a thumping majority in a June general election, primarily because the economy was seen by grateful voters to be in fine fettle.-- Larry Elliott, "Danger of a recurring nightmare", The Guardian, June 18, 2001
Many of the nuns were in fine fettle, even into their 80s and 90s.-- John McCrone, "Sisters of mercy", The Guardian, August 18, 2001
He seems in fine fettle when we meet, and happy to discuss the film that gave him his break.-- Charlotte O'Sullivan, "Naked ambition", The Guardian, February 7, 1999
Fettle is from Middle English fetlen, "to set in order," originally "to gird up," from Old English fetel, "a girdle."
from: word for the day
often used in the phrase "in fine fettle."
Aside from the problems with her voice . . . Miss Garland was in fine fettle last night.-- Vincent Canby, "Judy Garland Sets the Palace Alight", New York Times, August 1, 1967
Back in 1987, the Conservatives won a thumping majority in a June general election, primarily because the economy was seen by grateful voters to be in fine fettle.-- Larry Elliott, "Danger of a recurring nightmare", The Guardian, June 18, 2001
Many of the nuns were in fine fettle, even into their 80s and 90s.-- John McCrone, "Sisters of mercy", The Guardian, August 18, 2001
He seems in fine fettle when we meet, and happy to discuss the film that gave him his break.-- Charlotte O'Sullivan, "Naked ambition", The Guardian, February 7, 1999
Fettle is from Middle English fetlen, "to set in order," originally "to gird up," from Old English fetel, "a girdle."
from: word for the day
Monday, September 8, 2008
Agreement and Disagreement
Agreement, disagreement and ... the English soul
By Olga Mindrul, Moscow State University
The way people agree or disagree in an argument or discussion varies in different languages. A lot here depends on the national cultural and traditional background of the speaker. The English are not as straightforward in expressing their opinion as Russians are, for example. The word which describes the English way of speaking and behaving in the best way is probably the word “reserved”. If you look it up in the dictionary, you’ll find a sentence that says it all: “An Englishman is very reserved, quiet, always discreet” (COLLINS COBUILD ENGLISH LANGUAGE DICTIONARY).
George Mikes in “How to be an Alien” wrote in a humorous way about these typical features of the English, which are reflected in the use of the language: “The English have no soul, they have understatement instead”. Understatement in proposing, according to George Mikes, “takes the form of “I say… would you". If it is an indecent proposal it is "I say… what about…".
In agreement and disagreement one should remember about understatement as an important underlying principle of wording what you think.
Agreement and disagreement are types of affirmation and denial in which the expression of JUDGEMENT or OPINION rather than the assertion of FACT is involved. It is all the more necessary not to offend standards of politeness when the other person’s judgement is in question.
AGREEMENT
In agreeing with an unfavourable opinion, you may wish to qualify your agreement with an expression of regret, etc.
His speech was boring / Yes, I am afraid it was.
I have to agree that it was.
\ I must say I found it so.
In other cases, you can be as enthusiastic as you like in emphasizing your agreement.
It was an interesting exhibition, wasn’t it? – Yes, it was superb/absolutely splendid!
A referendum will satisfy everybody. – Yes, definitely/quite/absolutely/I absolutely agree/I couldn’t agree more/I quite agree/ I agree entirely.
A referendum will not satisfy everybody. – Definitely not/It certainly won’t/You are absolutely right, it won’t/ I agree that it won’t.
It’s good practice and it’s good fun. – Exactly.
I feel I ought to give her a hand – Oh, quite, quite.
I must do something, though – Yes, I quite agree.
There is far too much attention being paid to these hoodlums – Yes I couldn’t agree more.
The public showed that by the way it voted in the General election – That’s quite true.
We reckon that this is what THEY would have wanted us to do. – I think you are absolutely right.
You can show that you agree strongly with someone’s description of something by repeating the adjective they have used and using "very" in front of it. You usually use “indeed” after the adjective.
It was very tragic, wasn’t it – Very tragic indeed.
The pacing in all these performances is subtle, isn’t – Oh, very subtle, indeed.
Other ways of expressing agreement are:
That’s just what I was thinking.
You know, that’s exactly what I think.
That’s a good point.
Partial agreement.
If you agree with someone, but not entirely or with reluctance, you can reply “I suppose so”.
I must have a job – I suppose so.
That’s the way to save lives, and save us a lot of trouble? – I suppose so.
If you are replying to a negative statement, you say, “I suppose not”.
Some of these places haven’t changed it – I suppose not.
Qualified agreement
In discussion and argument, there is often a need to agree with one aspect of a speaker’s view, and to disagree with another. Here are some of the methods you might use to express this sort of qualified agreement:
Certainly it’s true that …, but on the other hand…
I can see that…. But surely…
I am in total agreement with you about… but we also have to consider….
Agreed, BUT if we accept… then it must also be true that…
Corroboration
We can also agree, and add a further point to corroborate or confirm the argument
Yes, and in fact….
Yes, and what is more…
I agree, and in fact one might go so far as to say…
Absolutely. Actually, I would go further, and say…
DISAGREEMENT
Notice that you need to be very polite when disagreeing with someone in English – even someone you know quite well. When you deny or contradict what someone else has stated, the effect is often impolite, unless the denial is qualified in some way. You can qualify it by an apology or by adjusting to the speaker’s point of view:
English is a difficult language to learn.
-I am afraid I disagree with you: some languages are even more difficult, I think.
Or
- TRUE, but the grammar is quite easy.
Or
-Yes, but it’s not so difficult as Russian.
Or
-Do you think so? Actually, I find it quite easy.
The commonest ways to express disagreement are as follows:
Yes, that’s quite true, but…
I’m not sure I quite agree.
Well, you have a point there, but…
Perhaps, but I don’t think that…
I see what you mean, but…
Rather than simply expressing complete disagreement, people usually try to disagree politely using expressions, which soften the contradictory opinion they are giving "I don’t think so" and "Not really" are the most common of these expressions.
It was a lot of money in those days – Well, not really.
It’s all over now, anyway. – No, I am afraid I can’t agree with you there.
People often say “Yes” or “I see what you mean”, to indicate partial agreement and then go on to mention a point of disagreement, introduced by “but”.
You’ve just said yourself that you got fed up with it after a time. - Yes, but only after three weeks.
It’s a very clever film. – Yes, perhaps, but I didn’t like it.
They ruined the whole thing. – I see what you mean, but they didn’t know.
Strong disagreement
If you know someone very well you can disagree more directly using expressions like these:
I can’t agree with you there.
You can’t be serious!
Come off it!
Don’t be silly!
You should be very careful when using them, in order to avoid offending people.
That’s very funny – No, it isn’t.
You were the one who wanted to buy it – I am sorry, dear, but you are wrong.
More formal ways
University education does divide families in a way – I cannot go along with that.
There would be less guilt which characterized societies of earlier generations. – well I think I would take issue with that
When it comes to the state of this country, he should keep his mouth shut – I wholly and totally disagree.
He wants it, and I suppose he has a right to it – Rubbish.
He said you plotted to get him removed - that’s ridiculous.
Learning to express agreement and/or disagreement with someone’s views and opinions can be part of assertion training, which has gained increasing recognition in recent years. Its aim is to help people express themselves more effectively and appropriately.
The following three types of behavior are identified:
1. Non-assertive behaviour – failing to express your feelings, needs, opinions, or preferences, or expressing them in an indirect or implicit way. For example, agreeing to activities you are not really interested in or failing to ask for a favour even though one is needed/ Statements like “I suppose we could go to the cinema”, or “I wish I knew someone who could help me repair my car” represent indirect or implicit statements in which the other person must infer what the needs and opinions of the speaker really are. One difficulty with this type of communication is that it is open to varying interpretations and is therefore easily misunderstood.
2. Aggressive behaviour – expressing your feelings or opinions but in a punishing, threatening, demanding or hostile manner. There is little or no consideration of the feelings or rights of the other person. In addition, the person who behaves aggressively assumes little responsibility for the consequences of his/her action.
E.g. You’d better lend me $5.
You are going with me whether you like it or not.
3. Assertive behaviour – expressing your feelings, needs, legitimate rights or opinions honestly and directly without being aggressive to others, without infringing on their rights and without expecting the other person to read your mind. Assertive behaviour is not designed primarily to enable an individual to obtain what he/she wants. Rather its purpose is the clear, direct and inoffensive communication of one’s needs opinions and so on. To the extent that this is accomplished, the probability of achieving one’s goals without denying the rights of others increases.
from: Hello Online
By Olga Mindrul, Moscow State University
The way people agree or disagree in an argument or discussion varies in different languages. A lot here depends on the national cultural and traditional background of the speaker. The English are not as straightforward in expressing their opinion as Russians are, for example. The word which describes the English way of speaking and behaving in the best way is probably the word “reserved”. If you look it up in the dictionary, you’ll find a sentence that says it all: “An Englishman is very reserved, quiet, always discreet” (COLLINS COBUILD ENGLISH LANGUAGE DICTIONARY).
George Mikes in “How to be an Alien” wrote in a humorous way about these typical features of the English, which are reflected in the use of the language: “The English have no soul, they have understatement instead”. Understatement in proposing, according to George Mikes, “takes the form of “I say… would you". If it is an indecent proposal it is "I say… what about…".
In agreement and disagreement one should remember about understatement as an important underlying principle of wording what you think.
Agreement and disagreement are types of affirmation and denial in which the expression of JUDGEMENT or OPINION rather than the assertion of FACT is involved. It is all the more necessary not to offend standards of politeness when the other person’s judgement is in question.
AGREEMENT
In agreeing with an unfavourable opinion, you may wish to qualify your agreement with an expression of regret, etc.
His speech was boring / Yes, I am afraid it was.
I have to agree that it was.
\ I must say I found it so.
In other cases, you can be as enthusiastic as you like in emphasizing your agreement.
It was an interesting exhibition, wasn’t it? – Yes, it was superb/absolutely splendid!
A referendum will satisfy everybody. – Yes, definitely/quite/absolutely/I absolutely agree/I couldn’t agree more/I quite agree/ I agree entirely.
A referendum will not satisfy everybody. – Definitely not/It certainly won’t/You are absolutely right, it won’t/ I agree that it won’t.
It’s good practice and it’s good fun. – Exactly.
I feel I ought to give her a hand – Oh, quite, quite.
I must do something, though – Yes, I quite agree.
There is far too much attention being paid to these hoodlums – Yes I couldn’t agree more.
The public showed that by the way it voted in the General election – That’s quite true.
We reckon that this is what THEY would have wanted us to do. – I think you are absolutely right.
You can show that you agree strongly with someone’s description of something by repeating the adjective they have used and using "very" in front of it. You usually use “indeed” after the adjective.
It was very tragic, wasn’t it – Very tragic indeed.
The pacing in all these performances is subtle, isn’t – Oh, very subtle, indeed.
Other ways of expressing agreement are:
That’s just what I was thinking.
You know, that’s exactly what I think.
That’s a good point.
Partial agreement.
If you agree with someone, but not entirely or with reluctance, you can reply “I suppose so”.
I must have a job – I suppose so.
That’s the way to save lives, and save us a lot of trouble? – I suppose so.
If you are replying to a negative statement, you say, “I suppose not”.
Some of these places haven’t changed it – I suppose not.
Qualified agreement
In discussion and argument, there is often a need to agree with one aspect of a speaker’s view, and to disagree with another. Here are some of the methods you might use to express this sort of qualified agreement:
Certainly it’s true that …, but on the other hand…
I can see that…. But surely…
I am in total agreement with you about… but we also have to consider….
Agreed, BUT if we accept… then it must also be true that…
Corroboration
We can also agree, and add a further point to corroborate or confirm the argument
Yes, and in fact….
Yes, and what is more…
I agree, and in fact one might go so far as to say…
Absolutely. Actually, I would go further, and say…
DISAGREEMENT
Notice that you need to be very polite when disagreeing with someone in English – even someone you know quite well. When you deny or contradict what someone else has stated, the effect is often impolite, unless the denial is qualified in some way. You can qualify it by an apology or by adjusting to the speaker’s point of view:
English is a difficult language to learn.
-I am afraid I disagree with you: some languages are even more difficult, I think.
Or
- TRUE, but the grammar is quite easy.
Or
-Yes, but it’s not so difficult as Russian.
Or
-Do you think so? Actually, I find it quite easy.
The commonest ways to express disagreement are as follows:
Yes, that’s quite true, but…
I’m not sure I quite agree.
Well, you have a point there, but…
Perhaps, but I don’t think that…
I see what you mean, but…
Rather than simply expressing complete disagreement, people usually try to disagree politely using expressions, which soften the contradictory opinion they are giving "I don’t think so" and "Not really" are the most common of these expressions.
It was a lot of money in those days – Well, not really.
It’s all over now, anyway. – No, I am afraid I can’t agree with you there.
People often say “Yes” or “I see what you mean”, to indicate partial agreement and then go on to mention a point of disagreement, introduced by “but”.
You’ve just said yourself that you got fed up with it after a time. - Yes, but only after three weeks.
It’s a very clever film. – Yes, perhaps, but I didn’t like it.
They ruined the whole thing. – I see what you mean, but they didn’t know.
Strong disagreement
If you know someone very well you can disagree more directly using expressions like these:
I can’t agree with you there.
You can’t be serious!
Come off it!
Don’t be silly!
You should be very careful when using them, in order to avoid offending people.
That’s very funny – No, it isn’t.
You were the one who wanted to buy it – I am sorry, dear, but you are wrong.
More formal ways
University education does divide families in a way – I cannot go along with that.
There would be less guilt which characterized societies of earlier generations. – well I think I would take issue with that
When it comes to the state of this country, he should keep his mouth shut – I wholly and totally disagree.
He wants it, and I suppose he has a right to it – Rubbish.
He said you plotted to get him removed - that’s ridiculous.
Learning to express agreement and/or disagreement with someone’s views and opinions can be part of assertion training, which has gained increasing recognition in recent years. Its aim is to help people express themselves more effectively and appropriately.
The following three types of behavior are identified:
1. Non-assertive behaviour – failing to express your feelings, needs, opinions, or preferences, or expressing them in an indirect or implicit way. For example, agreeing to activities you are not really interested in or failing to ask for a favour even though one is needed/ Statements like “I suppose we could go to the cinema”, or “I wish I knew someone who could help me repair my car” represent indirect or implicit statements in which the other person must infer what the needs and opinions of the speaker really are. One difficulty with this type of communication is that it is open to varying interpretations and is therefore easily misunderstood.
2. Aggressive behaviour – expressing your feelings or opinions but in a punishing, threatening, demanding or hostile manner. There is little or no consideration of the feelings or rights of the other person. In addition, the person who behaves aggressively assumes little responsibility for the consequences of his/her action.
E.g. You’d better lend me $5.
You are going with me whether you like it or not.
3. Assertive behaviour – expressing your feelings, needs, legitimate rights or opinions honestly and directly without being aggressive to others, without infringing on their rights and without expecting the other person to read your mind. Assertive behaviour is not designed primarily to enable an individual to obtain what he/she wants. Rather its purpose is the clear, direct and inoffensive communication of one’s needs opinions and so on. To the extent that this is accomplished, the probability of achieving one’s goals without denying the rights of others increases.
from: Hello Online
Friday, September 5, 2008
Comparative and Superlative Adjectives
PLEASE CLICK THE PICTURE TO ZOOM IN.
N.B.
Adjectives ending with a vowel and a consonant double the consonant
for example : big - bigger- the biggest,
except when the consonant is 'w' or 'y'
for example : new - newer - the newest.
Use Comparative adjectives are used to compare two things or people to each other.
Superlative adjectives are used to compare one member of a group to the whole group.
Ex : The Amazon river is longer than the Mississippi.
The Nile is the longest river in the world.
from: Learn English Today
N.B.
Adjectives ending with a vowel and a consonant double the consonant
for example : big - bigger- the biggest,
except when the consonant is 'w' or 'y'
for example : new - newer - the newest.
Use Comparative adjectives are used to compare two things or people to each other.
Superlative adjectives are used to compare one member of a group to the whole group.
Ex : The Amazon river is longer than the Mississippi.
The Nile is the longest river in the world.
from: Learn English Today
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Past Perfect Tense
PLEASE CLICK THE PICTURES TO ZOOM IN.The Past Perfect is used to refer to actions which took place before a specific time in the past.
ex : Yesterday, between 4 pm and 6 pm, Paul played a game of tennis with a friend.
His mother arrived at 6 pm. When his mother arrived, Paul had finished the game.
◊ The Past Perfect Continuous (had been playing) is used to refer to a past continuous action.
ex : Before his mother arrived, Paul had been playing tennis with a friend.
from: Learn English Today
Monday, August 25, 2008
for - since - ago
For - since - ago are used to talk about time
For is used to say how long an action or situation lasts.
*For is used with the Present Perfect :
- I have been waiting at the bus stop for 10 minutes.
- I have lived in this country for 10 years.
*For can also be used with other tenses :
- Present : I go on holidays for two weeks every year in the summer.
- Past : When I was sixteen, I stayed in London for two months.
- Future : During my trip to California next month, I will be in San Diego for two days.
Since is used to refer to the starting point of actions or situations.
It is generally used with the Present Perfect.
* I have been waiting for the bus since 8 o'clock.
* I live in Tokyo. I have lived in Tokyo since September 2000.
Ago is used to say when past events happened, going back from today towards the past.
* I came to Tokyo three years ago.
* I arrived at the bus stop ten minutes ago.
* I visited New York two years ago.
from: Learn English Today
For is used to say how long an action or situation lasts.
*For is used with the Present Perfect :
- I have been waiting at the bus stop for 10 minutes.
- I have lived in this country for 10 years.
*For can also be used with other tenses :
- Present : I go on holidays for two weeks every year in the summer.
- Past : When I was sixteen, I stayed in London for two months.
- Future : During my trip to California next month, I will be in San Diego for two days.
Since is used to refer to the starting point of actions or situations.
It is generally used with the Present Perfect.
* I have been waiting for the bus since 8 o'clock.
* I live in Tokyo. I have lived in Tokyo since September 2000.
Ago is used to say when past events happened, going back from today towards the past.
* I came to Tokyo three years ago.
* I arrived at the bus stop ten minutes ago.
* I visited New York two years ago.
from: Learn English Today
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
few - fewer - fewest / little - less - least
Few and little are both quantifiers which have a negative meaning : 'not a lot'.
Their use with countable or uncountable nouns is shown in the table below.
In the examples given, apples is a plural countable noun, modified by fewer and fewest.
Milk is an uncountable noun, modified by less and least.
Meaning and use Example
Few - Meaning : not many/not a lot
- Used before plural nouns.
There are few apples at the market
today.
Fewer - Meaning : not as many
- Used before plural nouns
The supermarket has fewer apples.
Fewest - Meaning : the smallest number
- Used with 'the' before plural nouns
This shop has the fewest
apples.
Little - Meaning : not much/not a lot
- Used before uncountable nouns.
There is little milk left in the
bottle.
Less - Meaning : not as much
- Used before uncountable nouns.
We bought less milk yesterday.
Least - Meaning : the smallest quantity
- Used with 'the' before uncountable nouns.
The child refused to
drink the least milk.
N.B.
'A few' and 'a little' have a positive meaning : a small quantity.
- There are a few apples. There is a little milk.
from: Learn English Today
Their use with countable or uncountable nouns is shown in the table below.
In the examples given, apples is a plural countable noun, modified by fewer and fewest.
Milk is an uncountable noun, modified by less and least.
Meaning and use Example
Few - Meaning : not many/not a lot
- Used before plural nouns.
There are few apples at the market
today.
Fewer - Meaning : not as many
- Used before plural nouns
The supermarket has fewer apples.
Fewest - Meaning : the smallest number
- Used with 'the' before plural nouns
This shop has the fewest
apples.
Little - Meaning : not much/not a lot
- Used before uncountable nouns.
There is little milk left in the
bottle.
Less - Meaning : not as much
- Used before uncountable nouns.
We bought less milk yesterday.
Least - Meaning : the smallest quantity
- Used with 'the' before uncountable nouns.
The child refused to
drink the least milk.
N.B.
'A few' and 'a little' have a positive meaning : a small quantity.
- There are a few apples. There is a little milk.
from: Learn English Today
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Can
Can
"Can" is one of the most commonly used modal verbs in English. It can be used to express ability or opportunity, to request or offer permission, and to show possibility or impossibility.
Examples:
I can ride a horse. ability
We can stay with my brother when we are in Paris. opportunity
She cannot stay out after 10 PM. permission
Can you hand me the stapler? request
Any child can grow up to be president. possibility
Using "Can" in Present, Past, and Future
Most modal verbs behave quite irregularly in the past and the future. Study the chart below to learn how "can" behaves in different contexts.
Modal Use: can general ability
Positive Forms
(present) 1. I can speak Chinese.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "COULD" I could speak Chinese when I was a kid.
(future) 3. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" I will be able to speak Chinese by the time I
finish my course.
Negative Forms
(present) 1. I can't speak Swahili.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "COULD" I couldn't speak Swahili.
(future) 3. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" I won't be able to speak Swahili.
You can also use: be able to
can ability during a specific event
Positive Forms
(present) 1. With a burst of adrenaline, people can pick up cars.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" With a sudden burst of adrenaline, he was able
to lift the car off the child's leg.
(future) 3. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" With a sudden burst of adrenaline, he will be able to lift the car.
Negative Forms
(present) 1. Even with a burst of adrenaline, people can't pick up something that heavy.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" Even the weight lifter, couldn't lift the car off the
child's leg.
(future) 3. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" Even three men working together won't be able to lift
the car.
You can also use: be able to
can opportunity
Positive Forms
(present) 1. I have some free time. I can help her now.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" I had some free time yesterday. I was able to
help her at that time.
(future) 3. I'll have some free time tomorrow. I can help her then.
Negative Forms
(present) 1. I don't have any time. I can't help her now.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" I didn't have time yesterday. I wasn't able to help
her at that time.
(future) 3. I won't have any time later. I can't help her then.
You can also use: be able to
can permission
Positive Forms
(present) 1. I can drive Susan's car when she is out of town.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ALLOWED TO " I was allowed to drive Susan's car while
she was out of town last week.
(future) 3. I can drive Susan's car while she is out of town next week.
Negative Forms
(present) 1. I can't drive Susan's car when she is out of town.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ALLOWED TO " I wasn't allowed to drive Susan's car while
she was out of town last week.
(future) 3. I can't drive Susan's car while she is out of town next week.
You can also use: may
can request
Positive Forms
(present) Can I have a glass of water?
(past) Can you give me a lift to school?
(future) Requests usually refer to the near future.
Negative Forms
(present) Can't I have a glass of water?
(past) Can't you give me a lift to school?
(future) Requests usually refer to the near future.
You can also use: could, may
can possibility, impossibility
Positive Forms
(present) Anyone can become rich and famous if they know the right people.
(past) Learning a language can be a real challenge.
(future) This use is usually a generalization or a supposition.
Negative Forms
(present) It can't cost more than a dollar or two.
(past) You can't be 45! I thought you were about 18 years old.
(future) This use is usually a generalization or a supposition.
You can also use: could
from: English Page
"Can" is one of the most commonly used modal verbs in English. It can be used to express ability or opportunity, to request or offer permission, and to show possibility or impossibility.
Examples:
I can ride a horse. ability
We can stay with my brother when we are in Paris. opportunity
She cannot stay out after 10 PM. permission
Can you hand me the stapler? request
Any child can grow up to be president. possibility
Using "Can" in Present, Past, and Future
Most modal verbs behave quite irregularly in the past and the future. Study the chart below to learn how "can" behaves in different contexts.
Modal Use: can general ability
Positive Forms
(present) 1. I can speak Chinese.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "COULD" I could speak Chinese when I was a kid.
(future) 3. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" I will be able to speak Chinese by the time I
finish my course.
Negative Forms
(present) 1. I can't speak Swahili.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "COULD" I couldn't speak Swahili.
(future) 3. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" I won't be able to speak Swahili.
You can also use: be able to
can ability during a specific event
Positive Forms
(present) 1. With a burst of adrenaline, people can pick up cars.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" With a sudden burst of adrenaline, he was able
to lift the car off the child's leg.
(future) 3. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" With a sudden burst of adrenaline, he will be able to lift the car.
Negative Forms
(present) 1. Even with a burst of adrenaline, people can't pick up something that heavy.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" Even the weight lifter, couldn't lift the car off the
child's leg.
(future) 3. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" Even three men working together won't be able to lift
the car.
You can also use: be able to
can opportunity
Positive Forms
(present) 1. I have some free time. I can help her now.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" I had some free time yesterday. I was able to
help her at that time.
(future) 3. I'll have some free time tomorrow. I can help her then.
Negative Forms
(present) 1. I don't have any time. I can't help her now.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ABLE TO" I didn't have time yesterday. I wasn't able to help
her at that time.
(future) 3. I won't have any time later. I can't help her then.
You can also use: be able to
can permission
Positive Forms
(present) 1. I can drive Susan's car when she is out of town.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ALLOWED TO " I was allowed to drive Susan's car while
she was out of town last week.
(future) 3. I can drive Susan's car while she is out of town next week.
Negative Forms
(present) 1. I can't drive Susan's car when she is out of town.
(past) 2. SHIFT TO "BE ALLOWED TO " I wasn't allowed to drive Susan's car while
she was out of town last week.
(future) 3. I can't drive Susan's car while she is out of town next week.
You can also use: may
can request
Positive Forms
(present) Can I have a glass of water?
(past) Can you give me a lift to school?
(future) Requests usually refer to the near future.
Negative Forms
(present) Can't I have a glass of water?
(past) Can't you give me a lift to school?
(future) Requests usually refer to the near future.
You can also use: could, may
can possibility, impossibility
Positive Forms
(present) Anyone can become rich and famous if they know the right people.
(past) Learning a language can be a real challenge.
(future) This use is usually a generalization or a supposition.
Negative Forms
(present) It can't cost more than a dollar or two.
(past) You can't be 45! I thought you were about 18 years old.
(future) This use is usually a generalization or a supposition.
You can also use: could
from: English Page
WRITING BUSINESS LETTERS
Useful phrases
Salutation
Dear Mr Brown
Dear Ms White
Dear Sir
Dear Sirs
Dear Madam
Dear Sir or Madam
Gentlemen
Starting
We are writing to inform you that ... to confirm ... to request ... to enquire about ...
I am contacting you for the following reason.
I recently read/heard about . . . and would like to know . . .
Having seen your advertisement in ... , I would like to ...
I would be interested in (obtaining/receiving) ...
I received your address from ... and would like to ...
I am writing to tell you about ...
Referring to previous contact
Thank you for your letter of March 15 ...
Thank you for contacting us.
In reply to your request ...
Thank you for your letter regarding ...
With reference to our telephone conversation yesterday ...
Further to our meeting last week ...
It was a pleasure meeting you in London last month.
I enjoyed having lunch with you last week in Tokyo.
I would just like to confirm the main points we discussed on Tuesday . . .
Making a request
We would appreciate it if you would ...
I would be grateful if you could...
Could you please send me . . .
Could you possibly tell us/let us have...
In addition, I would like to receive ...
It would be helpful if you could send us ...
I am interested in (obtaining/receiving...)
I would appreciate your immediate attention to this matter.
Please let me know what action you propose to take.
Offering help
We would be happy to ...
Would you like us to ...
We are quite willing to ...
Our company would be pleased to ...
Giving good news
We are pleased to announce that ...
I am delighted to inform you that ...
You will be pleased to learn that ...
Giving bad news
We regret to inform you that ...
I'm afraid it would not be possible to ...
Unfortunately we cannot/we are unable to ...
After careful consideration we have decided (not) to ...
Complaining
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with ...
I am writing to complain about ...
Please note that the goods we ordered on (date) have not yet arrived.
We regret to inform you that our order n°--- is now considerably overdue.
I would like to query the transport charges which seem unusually high.
Apologizing
We are sorry for the delay in replying ...
I regret any inconvenience caused
I would like to apologize for (the delay/the inconvenience) ...
Once again, I apologise for any inconvenience.
Orders
Thank you for your quotation of ...
We are pleased to place an order with your company for ...
We would like to cancel our order n°...
Please confirm receipt of our order.
I am pleased to acknowledge receipt of your order n°...
Your order will be processed as quickly as possible.
It will take about (three) weeks to process your order.
We can guarantee delivery before ...
Unfortunately these articles are no longer available/are out of stock.
Prices
Please send us your price list.
You will find enclosed our most recent catalogue and price list.
Please note that our prices are subject to change without notice.
We have pleasure in enclosing a detailed quotation.
We can make you a firm offer of ...
Our terms of payment are as follows :
Referring to payment
Our records show that we have not yet received payment of ...
According to our records ...
Please send payment as soon as possible.
You will receive a credit note for the sum of ...
Enclosing documents
I am enclosing ...
Please find enclosed ...
You will find enclosed ...
Closing remarks
If we can be of any further assistance, please let us know
If I can help in any way, please do not hesitate to contact me
If you require more information ...
For further details ...
Thank you for taking this into consideration
Thank you for your help.
We hope you are happy with this arrangement.
We hope you can settle this matter to our satisfaction.
Referring to future business
We look forward to a successful working relationship in the future
We would be (very) pleased to do business with your company.
I would be happy to have an opportunity to work with your firm.
Referring to future contact
I look forward to seeing you next week
Looking forward to hearing from you
" " to receiving your comments
I look forward to meeting you on the 15th
I would appreciate a reply at your earliest convenience.
Ending
Sincerely, }
Yours sincerely, } (for all customers/clients)
Sincerely yours, }
Regards, (for those you already know and have a working relationship with)
from: Learn English Today
Salutation
Dear Mr Brown
Dear Ms White
Dear Sir
Dear Sirs
Dear Madam
Dear Sir or Madam
Gentlemen
Starting
We are writing to inform you that ... to confirm ... to request ... to enquire about ...
I am contacting you for the following reason.
I recently read/heard about . . . and would like to know . . .
Having seen your advertisement in ... , I would like to ...
I would be interested in (obtaining/receiving) ...
I received your address from ... and would like to ...
I am writing to tell you about ...
Referring to previous contact
Thank you for your letter of March 15 ...
Thank you for contacting us.
In reply to your request ...
Thank you for your letter regarding ...
With reference to our telephone conversation yesterday ...
Further to our meeting last week ...
It was a pleasure meeting you in London last month.
I enjoyed having lunch with you last week in Tokyo.
I would just like to confirm the main points we discussed on Tuesday . . .
Making a request
We would appreciate it if you would ...
I would be grateful if you could...
Could you please send me . . .
Could you possibly tell us/let us have...
In addition, I would like to receive ...
It would be helpful if you could send us ...
I am interested in (obtaining/receiving...)
I would appreciate your immediate attention to this matter.
Please let me know what action you propose to take.
Offering help
We would be happy to ...
Would you like us to ...
We are quite willing to ...
Our company would be pleased to ...
Giving good news
We are pleased to announce that ...
I am delighted to inform you that ...
You will be pleased to learn that ...
Giving bad news
We regret to inform you that ...
I'm afraid it would not be possible to ...
Unfortunately we cannot/we are unable to ...
After careful consideration we have decided (not) to ...
Complaining
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with ...
I am writing to complain about ...
Please note that the goods we ordered on (date) have not yet arrived.
We regret to inform you that our order n°--- is now considerably overdue.
I would like to query the transport charges which seem unusually high.
Apologizing
We are sorry for the delay in replying ...
I regret any inconvenience caused
I would like to apologize for (the delay/the inconvenience) ...
Once again, I apologise for any inconvenience.
Orders
Thank you for your quotation of ...
We are pleased to place an order with your company for ...
We would like to cancel our order n°...
Please confirm receipt of our order.
I am pleased to acknowledge receipt of your order n°...
Your order will be processed as quickly as possible.
It will take about (three) weeks to process your order.
We can guarantee delivery before ...
Unfortunately these articles are no longer available/are out of stock.
Prices
Please send us your price list.
You will find enclosed our most recent catalogue and price list.
Please note that our prices are subject to change without notice.
We have pleasure in enclosing a detailed quotation.
We can make you a firm offer of ...
Our terms of payment are as follows :
Referring to payment
Our records show that we have not yet received payment of ...
According to our records ...
Please send payment as soon as possible.
You will receive a credit note for the sum of ...
Enclosing documents
I am enclosing ...
Please find enclosed ...
You will find enclosed ...
Closing remarks
If we can be of any further assistance, please let us know
If I can help in any way, please do not hesitate to contact me
If you require more information ...
For further details ...
Thank you for taking this into consideration
Thank you for your help.
We hope you are happy with this arrangement.
We hope you can settle this matter to our satisfaction.
Referring to future business
We look forward to a successful working relationship in the future
We would be (very) pleased to do business with your company.
I would be happy to have an opportunity to work with your firm.
Referring to future contact
I look forward to seeing you next week
Looking forward to hearing from you
" " to receiving your comments
I look forward to meeting you on the 15th
I would appreciate a reply at your earliest convenience.
Ending
Sincerely, }
Yours sincerely, } (for all customers/clients)
Sincerely yours, }
Regards, (for those you already know and have a working relationship with)
from: Learn English Today
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Telephone Conversation Expressions
Useful telephone vocabulary and phrases in English
►Making contact
Hello/Good morning/Good afternoon ..
This is John Brown speaking.
Could I speak to .......... please?I'd like to speak to .......... please.
I'm trying to contact ..........
►Giving more information
• I'm calling from Tokyo/Paris/New York/Sydney • I'm calling on behalf of (Mr. X ...)
►Taking a call
X speaking
Can I help you?
►Asking for a name/information
Who's calling please?
Who's speaking?
Where are you calling from?
Are you sure you have the right number/name?
►Asking the caller to wait
Hold the line please
Could you hold on please
Just a moment please
►Connecting
Thank you for holding
The line's free now ..... I'll put you through
I'll connect you now / I'm connecting you now.
►Giving negative information
I'm afraid the line's engaged. Could you call back later?
I'm afraid he's in a meeting at the moment
I'm sorry. He's out of the office today / He isn't in at the moment.
I'm afraid we don't have a Mr/Mrs/Miss ... here
I'm sorry. There's nobody here by that name.
Sorry. I think you've dialled the wrong number.
I'm afraid you've got the wrong number.
►Telephone problems
The line is very bad. Could you speak up please?
Could you repeat that please?
I'm afraid I can't hear you.
Sorry. I didn't catch that.
Could you say that again please?
►Leaving/taking a message
Can I leave/take a message?
Would you like to leave a message?
Could you give him/her a message?
Could you ask him/her to call me back?
Would you like him/her to call you back?
Could you tell him/her that I called?
Could you give me your name please?
Could you spell that please?
What's your number please?
from: Learn English Today
►Making contact
Hello/Good morning/Good afternoon ..
This is John Brown speaking.
Could I speak to .......... please?I'd like to speak to .......... please.
I'm trying to contact ..........
►Giving more information
• I'm calling from Tokyo/Paris/New York/Sydney • I'm calling on behalf of (Mr. X ...)
►Taking a call
X speaking
Can I help you?
►Asking for a name/information
Who's calling please?
Who's speaking?
Where are you calling from?
Are you sure you have the right number/name?
►Asking the caller to wait
Hold the line please
Could you hold on please
Just a moment please
►Connecting
Thank you for holding
The line's free now ..... I'll put you through
I'll connect you now / I'm connecting you now.
►Giving negative information
I'm afraid the line's engaged. Could you call back later?
I'm afraid he's in a meeting at the moment
I'm sorry. He's out of the office today / He isn't in at the moment.
I'm afraid we don't have a Mr/Mrs/Miss ... here
I'm sorry. There's nobody here by that name.
Sorry. I think you've dialled the wrong number.
I'm afraid you've got the wrong number.
►Telephone problems
The line is very bad. Could you speak up please?
Could you repeat that please?
I'm afraid I can't hear you.
Sorry. I didn't catch that.
Could you say that again please?
►Leaving/taking a message
Can I leave/take a message?
Would you like to leave a message?
Could you give him/her a message?
Could you ask him/her to call me back?
Would you like him/her to call you back?
Could you tell him/her that I called?
Could you give me your name please?
Could you spell that please?
What's your number please?
from: Learn English Today
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Present Continuous 1-2
Present Continuous
FORM
[am/is/are + present participle]
Examples:
You are watching TV.
Are you watching TV?
You are not watching TV.
Complete List of Present Continuous Forms
USE 1 Now
Use the Present Continuous with Normal Verbs to express the idea that something is happening now, at this very moment. It can also be used to show that something is not happening now.
Examples:
You are learning English now.
You are not swimming now.
Are you sleeping?
I am sitting.
I am not standing.
Is he sitting or standing?
They are reading their books.
They are not watching television.
What are you doing?
Why aren't you doing your homework?
USE 2 Longer Actions in Progress Now
In English, "now" can mean: this second, today, this month, this year, this century, and so on. Sometimes, we use the Present Continuous to say that we are in the process of doing a longer action which is in progress; however, we might not be doing it at this exact second.
Examples: (All of these sentences can be said while eating dinner in a restaurant.)
I am studying to become a doctor.
I am not studying to become a dentist.
I am reading the book Tom Sawyer.
I am not reading any books right now.
Are you working on any special projects at work?
Aren't you teaching at the university now?
USE 3 Near Future
Sometimes, speakers use the Present Continuous to indicate that something will or will not happen in the near future.
Examples:
I am meeting some friends after work.
I am not going to the party tonight.
Is he visiting his parents next weekend?
Isn't he coming with us tonight?
USE 4 Repetition and Irritation with "Always"
The Present Continuous with words such as "always" or "constantly" expresses the idea that something irritating or shocking often happens. Notice that the meaning is like Simple Present, but with negative emotion. Remember to put the words "always" or "constantly" between "be" and "verb+ing."
Examples:
She is always coming to class late.
He is constantly talking. I wish he would shut up.
I don't like them because they are always complaining.
REMEMBER Non-Continuous Verbs/ Mixed Verbs
It is important to remember that Non-Continuous Verbs cannot be used in any continuous tenses. Also, certain non-continuous meanings for Mixed Verbs cannot be used in continuous tenses. Instead of using Present Continuous with these verbs, you must use Simple Present.
Examples:
She is loving this chocolate ice cream. Not Correct
She loves this chocolate ice cream. Correct
ADVERB PLACEMENT
The examples below show the placement for grammar adverbs such as: always, only, never, ever, still, just, etc.
Examples:
You are still watching TV.
Are you still watching TV?
ACTIVE / PASSIVE
Examples:
Right now, Tom is writing the letter. Active
Right now, the letter is being written by Tom. Passive
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Present Conditionals
Present Real Conditional
FORM
[If / When ... Simple Present ..., ... Simple Present ...]
[... Simple Present ... if / when ... Simple Present ...]
USE
The Present Real Conditional is used to talk about what you normally do in real-life situations.
Examples:
If I go to a friend's house for dinner, I usually take a bottle of wine or some flowers.
When I have a day off from work, I often go to the beach.
If the weather is nice, she walks to work.
Jerry helps me with my homework when he has time.
I read if there is nothing on TV.
A: What do you do when it rains?
B: I stay at home.
A: Where do you stay if you go to Sydney?
B: I stay with my friends near the harbor.
IMPORTANT
If / When
Both "if" and "when" are used in the Present Real Conditional. Using "if" suggests that something happens less frequently. Using "when" suggests that something happens regularly.
Examples:
When I have a day off from work, I usually go to the beach.
I regularly have days off from work.
If I have a day off from work, I usually go to the beach.
I rarely have days off from work.
Present Unreal Conditional
FORM
[If ... Simple Past ..., ... would + verb ...]
[... would + verb ... if ... Simple Past ...]
USE
The Present Unreal Conditional is used to talk about what you would generally do in imaginary situations.
Examples:
If I owned a car, I would drive to work. But I don't own a car.
She would travel around the world if she had more money. But she doesn't have much money.
I would read more if I didn't watch so much TV.
Mary would move to Japan if she spoke Japanese.
If they worked harder, they would earn more money.
A: What would you do if you won the lottery?
B: I would buy a house.
A: Where would you live if you moved to the U.S.?
B: I would live in Seattle.
EXCEPTION
If I were ...
In the Present Unreal Conditional, the form "was" is not considered grammatically correct. In written English or in testing situations, you should always use "were." However, in everyday conversation, "was" is often used.
Examples:
If he were French, he would live in Paris.
If she were rich, she would buy a yacht.
I would play basketball if I were taller.
I would buy that computer if it were cheaper.
I would buy that computer if it was cheaper. Not Correct (But often said in conversation.)
IMPORTANT
Only use "If"Only the word "if" is used with the Present Unreal Conditional because you are discussing imaginary situations. "When" cannot be used.
Examples:
I would buy that computer when it were cheaper. Not Correct
I would buy that computer if it were cheaper. Correct
EXCEPTION Conditional with Modal Verbs
There are some special conditional forms for modal verbs in English:
would + can = could
would + shall = should
would + may = might
The words "can," "shall" and "may" cannot be used with "would." Instead, they must be used in these special forms.
Examples:
If I went to Egypt, I would can learn Arabic. Not Correct
If I went to Egypt, I could learn Arabic. Correct
If she had time, she would may go to the party. Not Correct
If she had time, she might go to the party. Correct
The words "could," should," "might" and "ought to" include conditional, so you cannot combine them with "would."
Examples:
If I had more time, I would could exercise after work. Not Correct
If I had more time, I could exercise after work. Correct
If he invited you, you really would should go. Not Correct
If he invited you, you really should go. Correct
from: ENGLISH PAGE
FORM
[If / When ... Simple Present ..., ... Simple Present ...]
[... Simple Present ... if / when ... Simple Present ...]
USE
The Present Real Conditional is used to talk about what you normally do in real-life situations.
Examples:
If I go to a friend's house for dinner, I usually take a bottle of wine or some flowers.
When I have a day off from work, I often go to the beach.
If the weather is nice, she walks to work.
Jerry helps me with my homework when he has time.
I read if there is nothing on TV.
A: What do you do when it rains?
B: I stay at home.
A: Where do you stay if you go to Sydney?
B: I stay with my friends near the harbor.
IMPORTANT
If / When
Both "if" and "when" are used in the Present Real Conditional. Using "if" suggests that something happens less frequently. Using "when" suggests that something happens regularly.
Examples:
When I have a day off from work, I usually go to the beach.
I regularly have days off from work.
If I have a day off from work, I usually go to the beach.
I rarely have days off from work.
Present Unreal Conditional
FORM
[If ... Simple Past ..., ... would + verb ...]
[... would + verb ... if ... Simple Past ...]
USE
The Present Unreal Conditional is used to talk about what you would generally do in imaginary situations.
Examples:
If I owned a car, I would drive to work. But I don't own a car.
She would travel around the world if she had more money. But she doesn't have much money.
I would read more if I didn't watch so much TV.
Mary would move to Japan if she spoke Japanese.
If they worked harder, they would earn more money.
A: What would you do if you won the lottery?
B: I would buy a house.
A: Where would you live if you moved to the U.S.?
B: I would live in Seattle.
EXCEPTION
If I were ...
In the Present Unreal Conditional, the form "was" is not considered grammatically correct. In written English or in testing situations, you should always use "were." However, in everyday conversation, "was" is often used.
Examples:
If he were French, he would live in Paris.
If she were rich, she would buy a yacht.
I would play basketball if I were taller.
I would buy that computer if it were cheaper.
I would buy that computer if it was cheaper. Not Correct (But often said in conversation.)
IMPORTANT
Only use "If"Only the word "if" is used with the Present Unreal Conditional because you are discussing imaginary situations. "When" cannot be used.
Examples:
I would buy that computer when it were cheaper. Not Correct
I would buy that computer if it were cheaper. Correct
EXCEPTION Conditional with Modal Verbs
There are some special conditional forms for modal verbs in English:
would + can = could
would + shall = should
would + may = might
The words "can," "shall" and "may" cannot be used with "would." Instead, they must be used in these special forms.
Examples:
If I went to Egypt, I would can learn Arabic. Not Correct
If I went to Egypt, I could learn Arabic. Correct
If she had time, she would may go to the party. Not Correct
If she had time, she might go to the party. Correct
The words "could," should," "might" and "ought to" include conditional, so you cannot combine them with "would."
Examples:
If I had more time, I would could exercise after work. Not Correct
If I had more time, I could exercise after work. Correct
If he invited you, you really would should go. Not Correct
If he invited you, you really should go. Correct
from: ENGLISH PAGE
Present Perfect Tense 1-2
Present Perfect Simple
Affirmative
I have done
You have done
He/she/is has done
We have done
They have done
You have done
Negative
Long Form Contracted Form
I have not done I haven't done
You have not done You haven't done
He/she/it has not done He/she/it hasn't done
We have not done We haven't done
You have not done You haven't done
They have not done They haven't done
Interrogative
Have I done?
Have you done?
Has he/she/it done?
Have we done?
Have you done?
Have they done?
from: LEARN ENGLISH TODAY
Perfect Present - Past Simple
(I have finished) (I finished)
When do we use them?
PRESENT PERFECTThe Present Perfect is used to link the present and the past.
The Present Perfect is used :
1. To talk about an action which started in the past and continues today.
For and since are used to express duration.
◊ I have lived here for 10 years. I have lived here since 1998.
(I arrived here 10 years ago and I am still here.)
2. To refer to past events in an unfinished period of time :
◊ I have written two letters today.
(Two letters are written but today is not finished.)
3. To talk about recent events that have just happened or been announced :
◊ There has been a plane crash near the coast.
(We know the event took place but we don't know when.)
4. To talk about a past action with a result in the present :
◊ I've broken my arm. I can't drive. (= because my arm is broken now)
5. To talk and ask about experiences or accomplishments up to the time of speaking, but at no specific time.
" I'm a writer. I've written 9 books."
" Have you ever written a biography?" "No never."
PAST SIMPLE
The Past Simple is used to talk about past events which happened in a finished period of time.
The Past Simple is used :
1. When the period of time is finished :
◊ I wrote two letters yesterday.
(Yesterday is finished.)
2. When the time is mentioned, either a precise time in the past, or a time expression which clearly situates the event in the past:
◊ I lived in the country
... until the age of 6
... when I was young
... from 1985 to 1992
... before we moved to London
... a long time ago
NB : As a general rule, if you can answer the question "when?", use the Past Simple
FROM: LEARN ENGLISH TODAY
Friday, August 1, 2008
Present Continuous Tense 1
(example : to play)
Affirmative
I am playing
You are playing
He/she/it is playing
We are playing
You are playing
They are playing
Negative
Long Form Contracted Form
I am not playing I'm not playing
You are not playing You're not playing
He/she/it is not playing He/she/it's not playing
We are not playing We aren't playing
You are not playing You're not playing
They are not playing They aren't playing
Interrogative
Am I playing?
Are you playing?
Is he/she/it playing?
Are we playing?
Are you playing?
Are they playing?
The Present Continuous is used :
● To talk about continuous activities :
1) at the time of speaking :
- I am reading this page now.
2) around now, in a more general sense :
- I am learning English this year
● To talk about planned future arrangements :
- Next month I am spending my holidays in Australia.
I have already booked my flight.
- Our neighbours are coming to dinner tomorrow.
They have accepted our invitation.
FROM: LEARN ENGLISH TODAY
Affirmative
I am playing
You are playing
He/she/it is playing
We are playing
You are playing
They are playing
Negative
Long Form Contracted Form
I am not playing I'm not playing
You are not playing You're not playing
He/she/it is not playing He/she/it's not playing
We are not playing We aren't playing
You are not playing You're not playing
They are not playing They aren't playing
Interrogative
Am I playing?
Are you playing?
Is he/she/it playing?
Are we playing?
Are you playing?
Are they playing?
The Present Continuous is used :
● To talk about continuous activities :
1) at the time of speaking :
- I am reading this page now.
2) around now, in a more general sense :
- I am learning English this year
● To talk about planned future arrangements :
- Next month I am spending my holidays in Australia.
I have already booked my flight.
- Our neighbours are coming to dinner tomorrow.
They have accepted our invitation.
FROM: LEARN ENGLISH TODAY
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Already - still - always - yet
ALREADY :
Already is used to say that something has happened earlier than expected or earlier than it might have happened.
"Hurry up Susan. Breakfast is ready!"
"I've already had breakfast thanks. I woke up early."
STILL :
Still is used to refer to continuing situations. "They've been married for 40 years and they still love each other."
ALWAYS :
Always refers to something which happens regularly. "I always send cards at Christmas."
YET :
Yet is used :
- to ask if something expected has happened : "Has the postman arrived yet?"
- to say that something expected hasn't happened : "The postman hasn't arrived yet."
from: Learn English Today
Already is used to say that something has happened earlier than expected or earlier than it might have happened.
"Hurry up Susan. Breakfast is ready!"
"I've already had breakfast thanks. I woke up early."
STILL :
Still is used to refer to continuing situations. "They've been married for 40 years and they still love each other."
ALWAYS :
Always refers to something which happens regularly. "I always send cards at Christmas."
YET :
Yet is used :
- to ask if something expected has happened : "Has the postman arrived yet?"
- to say that something expected hasn't happened : "The postman hasn't arrived yet."
from: Learn English Today
Monday, July 28, 2008
CONVERSATION TECHNIQUES- Closing the Conversation
If some people find it difficult to start a conversation and others find problems keeping it going, it can also be difficult to close a conversation so you can either move to another topic or move away to talk with someone else.
Closing down a conversation can also seem like bad manners. To interrupt and walk away from somebody might make you wonder if they will think badly of you for this terrible social act. In practice, if you do it well, you will only leave them with a warm glow.
Be negative: Be generally negative and poor company.
Body pointing: Pointing your body away from the other person.
Caught short: Say you need to go to the toilet.
Closed questions: Create short answers.
Declare completion: Say that the conversation is ended.
Excuse yourself: Just excuse yourself and leave.
Feign ignorance: Be unable to answer their questions.
Introduce a friend: So you can excuse yourself.
Out of time: Have another appointment.
Phone calls: Use the phone to call you away.
Procrastinating: Putting discussion off to another time.
Short answers: That give no reason to extend.
Slow down: De-accelerate to a standstill.
Spot a friend: Wave to a friend and go to see them.
Summarize: Describe the essence of what has been said.
You can also ease the closing of a conversation by only joining groups of people, rather than going up to individuals standing alone. This makes it easier to excuse yourself and move on.
When others try to close
A useful additional note is to watch for these methods being used by other people. When they are trying to close the conversation you can gain social credit by noticing this and gracefully letting them go.
I can see you need to leave. Go on -- I'm just fine.
If it is important for you to continue the conversation (for example if you are selling something), then other people trying to close down can be used in two ways. First, it is a signal to you that you are probably not getting through to them, and you should the perhaps change your tactics. You can also use the fact they they want to leave as a lever, letting them go only when you get what you want from them. Their desperation may well let you get what you want with a simple request. Children use this when they know their parents are worn down and trying to get some peace.
Can I go to see Janak tonight, please.
from: Closing a conversation
Closing down a conversation can also seem like bad manners. To interrupt and walk away from somebody might make you wonder if they will think badly of you for this terrible social act. In practice, if you do it well, you will only leave them with a warm glow.
Be negative: Be generally negative and poor company.
Body pointing: Pointing your body away from the other person.
Caught short: Say you need to go to the toilet.
Closed questions: Create short answers.
Declare completion: Say that the conversation is ended.
Excuse yourself: Just excuse yourself and leave.
Feign ignorance: Be unable to answer their questions.
Introduce a friend: So you can excuse yourself.
Out of time: Have another appointment.
Phone calls: Use the phone to call you away.
Procrastinating: Putting discussion off to another time.
Short answers: That give no reason to extend.
Slow down: De-accelerate to a standstill.
Spot a friend: Wave to a friend and go to see them.
Summarize: Describe the essence of what has been said.
You can also ease the closing of a conversation by only joining groups of people, rather than going up to individuals standing alone. This makes it easier to excuse yourself and move on.
When others try to close
A useful additional note is to watch for these methods being used by other people. When they are trying to close the conversation you can gain social credit by noticing this and gracefully letting them go.
I can see you need to leave. Go on -- I'm just fine.
If it is important for you to continue the conversation (for example if you are selling something), then other people trying to close down can be used in two ways. First, it is a signal to you that you are probably not getting through to them, and you should the perhaps change your tactics. You can also use the fact they they want to leave as a lever, letting them go only when you get what you want from them. Their desperation may well let you get what you want with a simple request. Children use this when they know their parents are worn down and trying to get some peace.
Can I go to see Janak tonight, please.
from: Closing a conversation
Saturday, July 26, 2008
CONVERSATION TECHNIQUES- Sustaining a Conversation
It is one thing to opening a conversation, and it is another to keep it going. Here are a number of suggestions for ways to keep things interesting and lively such that the other person does not want to leave!
Specific techniques
Here are some specific techniques that you can use to keep the conversation going.
Ask their opinion: On any topic.
Description
Ask for their thoughts about some topic or another.
Ask them what should be done about some situation in work, home, locally or nationally. Ask what you think will happen next.
Ask what particular people should do. Ask 'if you were they, what would you do'. Ask 'What should I do'.
Ask for a recommendation about houses, cars, restaurants, gadgets, books, plumbers, etc.
Ask about people and what they know or think about them.
If you want to be daring, ask them about something controversial or that has some social taboo about it, such as teenage sex or inter-racial conflict.
And once you have asked them, listen carefully to their advice, taking it seriously. You don't have to follow what they suggest, of course, but it's a good idea that you show you have listened and considered their suggestion.
Example
If you were the President, what would you do about education?
We're going out tonight -- what restaurant would you recommend?
How has Miguel been performing? Do you think he is ready for promotion?
Discussion
Asking their opinion casts them as an expert, which is rather flattering. It says 'you know something that I don't' and so pushes them up the social ladder a bit, offering them status.
Concern for the person: Empathy always works.
Description
Show a personal concern for the well-being of other person. Ask after their career, health, happiness and so on.
Get them to open up and just listen.
Accept what they say without criticism.
Offer them ideas for how they can improve their lives (but only if you feel they are ready to hear these thoughts). Ask them what they think about your advice.
Example
Hello, Jane. I was worried about you last week. Were you ill?
Perhaps you should take a few days off to think things over. What do you think?
Discussion
When people are troubled by health or other fundamental matters, then, as per Maslow's hierarchy, they tend to retreat inwards and away from more social conversation. This can limit conversation with them.
When you show concern for the other person you build trust and draw them closer. When they trust you enough, they will expose something of their hidden self.
Interest in the person: Ask about their lives.
Description
Even better than enthusiasm for the subject is interest in the person. It affirms their identity, increases their sense of belonging and plays to their need for esteem.
Be interested in their past. Admire what they have done. Compliment them on their looks. Use open body language or lean towards them and use romantic body language.
A simple way of showing interest in the person is just by using their name.
After initial interest, pause to determine what effect you are having and if they are not looking happy with your interest in them, then back off (itself a technique that may lead to them then following you).
Look for points of connection from what they say. Show that you are similar to them.
Example
So what did you get up to at the weekend, Sam?
Where are you from? ... Oh, my cousin lives there...
Which train do you catch? What do you think of the service?
Discussion
I am the most interesting person I know, and when others seem to agree with this, I will happily go on about myself and my opinions as long as I have an attentive audience. Showing interest in other people can thus be an easy way of extending the conversation.
This also gives you lots of information about them that can be useful. Showing similarity, for example, increases bonding.
A caveat: Too much interest in a person may be taken as an undesirable advance or even leading toward harassment. Be careful that your questions are not considered intrusive.
Linking: Connect what is said to other things.
Description
Link what is being said to other things, for example:
Link current discussion to what the person said previously.
Link to things you know they are interested in.
Link what they say to your goals.
Link their interests to things you are working on.
Link to current events in the news.
Use the link to boost interest and draw the other person in closer.
Example
You mentioned diamonds before -- I've got a friend in the business who can get discounts -- would you like me to put you in touch with her?
You seem to be ahead of the times -- we are just doing early work on this.
There was a news item last night about racing -- you know a lot about this, don't you?
Discussion
Information does not stand alone and naturally connects into wide networks of associated ideas (hence the web and hyperlinks!). Adding links adds new new possibilities.
When you connect a person into another item or field, you give scope for much new thinking and understanding, much in the manner of metaphor.
Linking in what the other person has said in the past boosts their sense of identity and hence is very good for building rapport as it shows that you have remembered what they say and are interested in them. When you show interest in them, they will be affected by the exchange principle and so be motivated to show more interest in you.
Plans for the future: Talk about what will or might happen.
Description
Talk about what may happen in the future.
Ask them about:
What they want to do with their career.
Issues they have and what they are going to do about them.
What they are going to do at the weekend.
Where they are going on holiday next.
Talk also about your plans, but be careful not to hog the limelight. Try to listen more than you speak.
Example
I remember you said you really enjoyed skiing last year. Are you going again this year?
I'm really looking forward to this weekend -- we're going walking in the mountains.
Now that you've been promoted, what are you going to do with the department?
Discussion
Talking about the future can be particularly exciting as here you can daydream and hope for great things, no matter what has befallen you in the past.
When you talk about your plans, you also encourage the other person to think about the future. Talking a little bit about your plans also offers easy questions for them to ask to fill in the detail. Of course you can also ask the same questions in return.
Progressive disclosure: Tell a bit about yourself at a time.
Description
Tell the other person about yourself -- but only a bit at a time.
Start with relatively simple facts (name, work, etc.) and steadily move towards more personal information (religion, political affiliation, etc.) and emotional content (personal problems, likes/hates, etc.).
Only give them information that you think they can handle. D not overload them or 'dump' your emotional problems on them when they are not ready or willing to listen to such issues.
Do this in a reciprocal manner, only giving more detail when the other person has given you detail about themselves. If they stop at a certain point, then you stop too.
Example
...Hi, my name's Jan. ... ...I've been here for five years. When did you start? ... ...I don't like on the food there ... ...I'm having an operation next week ...
Discussion
I am the most interesting person I know and I'd love to talk a lot of the time about myself, but things are not always that simple.
If you tell other people too much about yourself then they may well feel uncomfortable as the reciprocity norm sets a social obligation that they should return equivalent information. If they do not want to give you such details (for example if this is a part of their hidden self) then they may well displace their guilt. into anger at you for putting them into this difficult position.
Information is power and disclosure thus may well give advantage to the other person, particularly in a situation of competitive negotiation. Controlling what you say about yourself lets you manage personal information that could later be used against you.
The progressive disclosure strategy thus allows you to carefully progress up to (and hence discover) their level of comfort about self-disclosure.
Tell stories: Use the power of the storyteller.
Description
Tell a story of some sort. It can be a personal story, a story from a friend or something from elsewhere, such as from television or magazines.
The key with stories is in the storytelling. Bring it to life for your audience. Put yourself into the story and bring them with you. Take on the emotions of the story: if it is an exciting bit, be excited, if it is sad, look sad, and so on (but beware of overdoing it!).
Start the story well. Create a hook that draws the other person in and then keep feeding them interest to sustain their interest and enjoyment. End well too, with a punchline and closure of the key story tensions.
You can elaborate on the story to make it more interesting, but do be truthful when appropriate and always maintain your integrity.
Make the story relevant to the other person. Show how what happened to you is connected to them and their experiences.
Do swap stories, but beware of annoying the other person by playing one-upmanship, telling stories that show you to be superior and hence downplay the other person.
Example
You know that reminds me of the time I was arrested and imprisoned. It all started the night I was mugged and left dazed on the streets of New York...
My brother tried that too and, well, it was so funny, he thought he could ... ... and then she pushed him back in the pool, turned around and walked away without a word!
I heard a very sad story on the news last night about a couple who...
Discussion
Stories can be used to empathize, explain, entertain and teach other people in a way that is interesting and engaging. We live our lives as a story and may think of it this way. Stories are thus easy to interpret and from which meaning can be easily created -- often far more so than some abstract description.
Stories can be told as extended metaphors, using the content of the story as an allegory or representation of some other topic that is difficult to discuss, such as a romantic break-up or inappropriate behavior.
Stories also may take more or less time, depending on what you want to do. If you have a lot of time to kill, you can extend the story, whilst if you want to make a simple point, you can tell the bones of the story in a very short period.
Topical events: Talk about news and recent events.
Description
Talk about something topical.
Discuss recent news. Offer an opinion on what has happened in the world, the country or your town or city recently.
Talk about something that has been announced and is going to happen. Speculate about what that might be.
Ask the other person if they have heard the story in question (if not, tell it to them).
Talk about something that has happened to you recently. Tell it as a story.
Ask the other person what has happened to them of late. Probe the story they tell.
Example
Did you hear about the fire down town? It was right over the road from the fire station, but apparently they still took five minutes to get there...
I just heard that CEO is coming to the office next week. Last time he came he fired five people. Do you know why he would want to visit us?
My daughter passed all her exams -- I'm so relieved. She was really not working well last year...
Discussion
Recent news is often of particular interest to other people, for example because it has some personal impact or because the general subject area is of interest.
When people have heard about the same thing, this gives them something in common, and hence allows similarity to be used to develop trust.
When people have heard or seen different versions of the same story, this gives something to discuss further, perhaps exploring the differences between the stories.
Controversial subjects (such as sex, politics, religion or war) also give the potential for discussion of opinion--or even heated debate.
Topic list: Build yourself a bag of interesting topics.
Description
Develop your own list of things to talk about with other people.
Keep a notepad with you and listen to other people's conversations. Make notes about good topics of conversation. Make particular notes about the opening words.
Carry the list with you and take a secret peek at it when you feel you may be drying up or the conversation needs an extra boost.
Example
Christmas dinnerWhat would you like for ChristmasI was arrested last week (when I saw you from across the room)The coffee here is awful - have you tried Carluck's?The British monarchyCar racingDo you speak any foreign languages...
Discussion
These pages only give you a few ideas -- there are so many other things that you can talk about.
We often run out of things to say not because there is nothing to say but because we are paralyzed by the social situation and are perhaps afraid of saying the wrong thing.
In practice, how you say it is much more important than what you say. Note how some people seem to get away with quite controversial comments -- and how they do so with a pleasant tone and perhaps a wicked but friendly smile.
Notes and tips
Here are a few additional thoughts to keep in mind when you are sustaining a conversation.
Accepting criticism: Don't let it become an argument.
Description
When others criticize you in some way, show that you are taking them seriously.
Do not react badly to the criticism. Use this interaction to show that you are interested in them and their opinions. Show you can take it on the chin.
Listen intently. Ask for elaboration. Ask them for more criticism. Ask them to help you improve. Show you value their inputs.
Only respond more robustly if you are sure that the other person is attacking you (which often is not the case). In this case respond assertively, not aggressively.
Example
Hmm. I guess that wasn't too clear, was it. Thanks for pointing it out.
You're right Mike. I do tend to slur my words when I'm excited. I'll try be more careful. Could I ask you to let me know if I do it again?
Discussion
When we are criticized by others, it often feels like an attack on our selves, threatening our sense of identity and challenging our control. This can trigger a fight-or-flight reaction, where we either attack back or retreat in some way.
When you accept criticism and particularly when you ask them to help you improve, you are putting them into the position of a parent or close friend who you trust with your vulnerabilities. This encourages them to reciprocate and thus increase bonding.
If they are criticising aggressively their main goal may be just to rile you. But when you are not wound up by what they say and ask for more information, they will be unsure, thus giving you an advantage you would not get if you fought back normally.
Asking for elaboration will thus help distinguish those whose criticism is genuine (they will happily give you more information) and those who are using it as an attack (they will retreat or get angry). When you know their intent, you can then respond appropriately.
If you can accept and act on the constructive criticism of others you will very likely improve in all sorts of ways.
Balanced conversation: Give and take in good measure.
A balanced conversation is between two people who share the time and topics in roughly equal parts, enjoying the interplay with the other person.
This is the realm of the true conversationalist.
Take your turn
A good conversation is a balanced act of turn taking. This means that you should take your turn to speak as a natural right and also respect the other person's right to speak and be heard.
Limited content
Make your point within your turn, but do not over-do it. Rather than trying to say too much at once, constrain each turn that you have to a single topic or otherwise something that does not confuse or drown the other person in your words.
Limited duration
Do not hog the conversation. Say what you have to say then pass the baton back. People can only absorb so much at once and if you talk too much, they will remember less and less. If you say less, they will remember more.
Watch the other person when you are talking (people often do not do this as they drift off into their private world). Notice if they are really listening. If they are not, then wonder: why am I talking?
Offer back the baton
When you have had your say and made your point, offer them back the baton. Pause, to see if they are pick it up. If they do not, try asking them what they think or another question.
Listen and respond
When they are talking, if you listen you can respond.
Hear what they are saying
If you listen carefully, you can not only hear the words but also the real meaning that they are trying to convey (and maybe even something of who they are).
If you are not sure about something, ask for more information or test your understanding. This is usually appreciated as it shows interest in the other person.
Find the optimal point of interjection
When you feel you have received enough information and want to respond, look for a suitable point at which you can interject.
You can also signal your desire to speak, for example by leaning forwards or pursing your lips as if you are about to speak. Raising eyebrows also helps, as does moving your hands as if you are about to use them in support of speech.
Respond to their point
If they have made a point, rather than dive off into what you want to say, respond to what they have said, supporting or challenging it as appropriate.
At some time you may want to initiate a new topic. Do not break into this when the other person is in the middle of something important to them. Carefully close the current conversation before starting up a new subject for discussion.
Enthusiasm for the subject: Infect them with your passion.
Description
Show that you are interested in what they are talking about. If they are interested in sailing, express a passion for the sea. If they like horses, talk about going to the races. Use probing questions to find out more.
You can also be enthusiastic about something in which you are interested. Be animated. Tell interesting stories. Talk about the subject with passion.
Example
Oh wow! I didn't realize that was how it worked. Please do tell me more.
Discussion
Emotions are contagious, and few more so than enthusiasm. When people see how switched on you are by a subject, they will want to share in the positive emotions and join you in your interest. (Note that the reverse is true, and negative emotions will drag the other person down).
Enthusiasm is
A caveat here: It is very easy to get yourself into deep water if you pretend to know about a subject where they have significant expertise. If you start talking about football with great enthusiasm you may find them enthusiastically asking you questions about specific moves in last week's game.
Also remember that the most powerful way of keeping a conversation going is simply to ask
questions that the other person is interested in answering, and then doing a great deal of
listening.
continuation: conversation techniques- closing
from: Sustaining the conversation
Specific techniques
Here are some specific techniques that you can use to keep the conversation going.
Ask their opinion: On any topic.
Description
Ask for their thoughts about some topic or another.
Ask them what should be done about some situation in work, home, locally or nationally. Ask what you think will happen next.
Ask what particular people should do. Ask 'if you were they, what would you do'. Ask 'What should I do'.
Ask for a recommendation about houses, cars, restaurants, gadgets, books, plumbers, etc.
Ask about people and what they know or think about them.
If you want to be daring, ask them about something controversial or that has some social taboo about it, such as teenage sex or inter-racial conflict.
And once you have asked them, listen carefully to their advice, taking it seriously. You don't have to follow what they suggest, of course, but it's a good idea that you show you have listened and considered their suggestion.
Example
If you were the President, what would you do about education?
We're going out tonight -- what restaurant would you recommend?
How has Miguel been performing? Do you think he is ready for promotion?
Discussion
Asking their opinion casts them as an expert, which is rather flattering. It says 'you know something that I don't' and so pushes them up the social ladder a bit, offering them status.
Concern for the person: Empathy always works.
Description
Show a personal concern for the well-being of other person. Ask after their career, health, happiness and so on.
Get them to open up and just listen.
Accept what they say without criticism.
Offer them ideas for how they can improve their lives (but only if you feel they are ready to hear these thoughts). Ask them what they think about your advice.
Example
Hello, Jane. I was worried about you last week. Were you ill?
Perhaps you should take a few days off to think things over. What do you think?
Discussion
When people are troubled by health or other fundamental matters, then, as per Maslow's hierarchy, they tend to retreat inwards and away from more social conversation. This can limit conversation with them.
When you show concern for the other person you build trust and draw them closer. When they trust you enough, they will expose something of their hidden self.
Interest in the person: Ask about their lives.
Description
Even better than enthusiasm for the subject is interest in the person. It affirms their identity, increases their sense of belonging and plays to their need for esteem.
Be interested in their past. Admire what they have done. Compliment them on their looks. Use open body language or lean towards them and use romantic body language.
A simple way of showing interest in the person is just by using their name.
After initial interest, pause to determine what effect you are having and if they are not looking happy with your interest in them, then back off (itself a technique that may lead to them then following you).
Look for points of connection from what they say. Show that you are similar to them.
Example
So what did you get up to at the weekend, Sam?
Where are you from? ... Oh, my cousin lives there...
Which train do you catch? What do you think of the service?
Discussion
I am the most interesting person I know, and when others seem to agree with this, I will happily go on about myself and my opinions as long as I have an attentive audience. Showing interest in other people can thus be an easy way of extending the conversation.
This also gives you lots of information about them that can be useful. Showing similarity, for example, increases bonding.
A caveat: Too much interest in a person may be taken as an undesirable advance or even leading toward harassment. Be careful that your questions are not considered intrusive.
Linking: Connect what is said to other things.
Description
Link what is being said to other things, for example:
Link current discussion to what the person said previously.
Link to things you know they are interested in.
Link what they say to your goals.
Link their interests to things you are working on.
Link to current events in the news.
Use the link to boost interest and draw the other person in closer.
Example
You mentioned diamonds before -- I've got a friend in the business who can get discounts -- would you like me to put you in touch with her?
You seem to be ahead of the times -- we are just doing early work on this.
There was a news item last night about racing -- you know a lot about this, don't you?
Discussion
Information does not stand alone and naturally connects into wide networks of associated ideas (hence the web and hyperlinks!). Adding links adds new new possibilities.
When you connect a person into another item or field, you give scope for much new thinking and understanding, much in the manner of metaphor.
Linking in what the other person has said in the past boosts their sense of identity and hence is very good for building rapport as it shows that you have remembered what they say and are interested in them. When you show interest in them, they will be affected by the exchange principle and so be motivated to show more interest in you.
Plans for the future: Talk about what will or might happen.
Description
Talk about what may happen in the future.
Ask them about:
What they want to do with their career.
Issues they have and what they are going to do about them.
What they are going to do at the weekend.
Where they are going on holiday next.
Talk also about your plans, but be careful not to hog the limelight. Try to listen more than you speak.
Example
I remember you said you really enjoyed skiing last year. Are you going again this year?
I'm really looking forward to this weekend -- we're going walking in the mountains.
Now that you've been promoted, what are you going to do with the department?
Discussion
Talking about the future can be particularly exciting as here you can daydream and hope for great things, no matter what has befallen you in the past.
When you talk about your plans, you also encourage the other person to think about the future. Talking a little bit about your plans also offers easy questions for them to ask to fill in the detail. Of course you can also ask the same questions in return.
Progressive disclosure: Tell a bit about yourself at a time.
Description
Tell the other person about yourself -- but only a bit at a time.
Start with relatively simple facts (name, work, etc.) and steadily move towards more personal information (religion, political affiliation, etc.) and emotional content (personal problems, likes/hates, etc.).
Only give them information that you think they can handle. D not overload them or 'dump' your emotional problems on them when they are not ready or willing to listen to such issues.
Do this in a reciprocal manner, only giving more detail when the other person has given you detail about themselves. If they stop at a certain point, then you stop too.
Example
...Hi, my name's Jan. ... ...I've been here for five years. When did you start? ... ...I don't like on the food there ... ...I'm having an operation next week ...
Discussion
I am the most interesting person I know and I'd love to talk a lot of the time about myself, but things are not always that simple.
If you tell other people too much about yourself then they may well feel uncomfortable as the reciprocity norm sets a social obligation that they should return equivalent information. If they do not want to give you such details (for example if this is a part of their hidden self) then they may well displace their guilt. into anger at you for putting them into this difficult position.
Information is power and disclosure thus may well give advantage to the other person, particularly in a situation of competitive negotiation. Controlling what you say about yourself lets you manage personal information that could later be used against you.
The progressive disclosure strategy thus allows you to carefully progress up to (and hence discover) their level of comfort about self-disclosure.
Tell stories: Use the power of the storyteller.
Description
Tell a story of some sort. It can be a personal story, a story from a friend or something from elsewhere, such as from television or magazines.
The key with stories is in the storytelling. Bring it to life for your audience. Put yourself into the story and bring them with you. Take on the emotions of the story: if it is an exciting bit, be excited, if it is sad, look sad, and so on (but beware of overdoing it!).
Start the story well. Create a hook that draws the other person in and then keep feeding them interest to sustain their interest and enjoyment. End well too, with a punchline and closure of the key story tensions.
You can elaborate on the story to make it more interesting, but do be truthful when appropriate and always maintain your integrity.
Make the story relevant to the other person. Show how what happened to you is connected to them and their experiences.
Do swap stories, but beware of annoying the other person by playing one-upmanship, telling stories that show you to be superior and hence downplay the other person.
Example
You know that reminds me of the time I was arrested and imprisoned. It all started the night I was mugged and left dazed on the streets of New York...
My brother tried that too and, well, it was so funny, he thought he could ... ... and then she pushed him back in the pool, turned around and walked away without a word!
I heard a very sad story on the news last night about a couple who...
Discussion
Stories can be used to empathize, explain, entertain and teach other people in a way that is interesting and engaging. We live our lives as a story and may think of it this way. Stories are thus easy to interpret and from which meaning can be easily created -- often far more so than some abstract description.
Stories can be told as extended metaphors, using the content of the story as an allegory or representation of some other topic that is difficult to discuss, such as a romantic break-up or inappropriate behavior.
Stories also may take more or less time, depending on what you want to do. If you have a lot of time to kill, you can extend the story, whilst if you want to make a simple point, you can tell the bones of the story in a very short period.
Topical events: Talk about news and recent events.
Description
Talk about something topical.
Discuss recent news. Offer an opinion on what has happened in the world, the country or your town or city recently.
Talk about something that has been announced and is going to happen. Speculate about what that might be.
Ask the other person if they have heard the story in question (if not, tell it to them).
Talk about something that has happened to you recently. Tell it as a story.
Ask the other person what has happened to them of late. Probe the story they tell.
Example
Did you hear about the fire down town? It was right over the road from the fire station, but apparently they still took five minutes to get there...
I just heard that CEO is coming to the office next week. Last time he came he fired five people. Do you know why he would want to visit us?
My daughter passed all her exams -- I'm so relieved. She was really not working well last year...
Discussion
Recent news is often of particular interest to other people, for example because it has some personal impact or because the general subject area is of interest.
When people have heard about the same thing, this gives them something in common, and hence allows similarity to be used to develop trust.
When people have heard or seen different versions of the same story, this gives something to discuss further, perhaps exploring the differences between the stories.
Controversial subjects (such as sex, politics, religion or war) also give the potential for discussion of opinion--or even heated debate.
Topic list: Build yourself a bag of interesting topics.
Description
Develop your own list of things to talk about with other people.
Keep a notepad with you and listen to other people's conversations. Make notes about good topics of conversation. Make particular notes about the opening words.
Carry the list with you and take a secret peek at it when you feel you may be drying up or the conversation needs an extra boost.
Example
Christmas dinnerWhat would you like for ChristmasI was arrested last week (when I saw you from across the room)The coffee here is awful - have you tried Carluck's?The British monarchyCar racingDo you speak any foreign languages...
Discussion
These pages only give you a few ideas -- there are so many other things that you can talk about.
We often run out of things to say not because there is nothing to say but because we are paralyzed by the social situation and are perhaps afraid of saying the wrong thing.
In practice, how you say it is much more important than what you say. Note how some people seem to get away with quite controversial comments -- and how they do so with a pleasant tone and perhaps a wicked but friendly smile.
Notes and tips
Here are a few additional thoughts to keep in mind when you are sustaining a conversation.
Accepting criticism: Don't let it become an argument.
Description
When others criticize you in some way, show that you are taking them seriously.
Do not react badly to the criticism. Use this interaction to show that you are interested in them and their opinions. Show you can take it on the chin.
Listen intently. Ask for elaboration. Ask them for more criticism. Ask them to help you improve. Show you value their inputs.
Only respond more robustly if you are sure that the other person is attacking you (which often is not the case). In this case respond assertively, not aggressively.
Example
Hmm. I guess that wasn't too clear, was it. Thanks for pointing it out.
You're right Mike. I do tend to slur my words when I'm excited. I'll try be more careful. Could I ask you to let me know if I do it again?
Discussion
When we are criticized by others, it often feels like an attack on our selves, threatening our sense of identity and challenging our control. This can trigger a fight-or-flight reaction, where we either attack back or retreat in some way.
When you accept criticism and particularly when you ask them to help you improve, you are putting them into the position of a parent or close friend who you trust with your vulnerabilities. This encourages them to reciprocate and thus increase bonding.
If they are criticising aggressively their main goal may be just to rile you. But when you are not wound up by what they say and ask for more information, they will be unsure, thus giving you an advantage you would not get if you fought back normally.
Asking for elaboration will thus help distinguish those whose criticism is genuine (they will happily give you more information) and those who are using it as an attack (they will retreat or get angry). When you know their intent, you can then respond appropriately.
If you can accept and act on the constructive criticism of others you will very likely improve in all sorts of ways.
Balanced conversation: Give and take in good measure.
A balanced conversation is between two people who share the time and topics in roughly equal parts, enjoying the interplay with the other person.
This is the realm of the true conversationalist.
Take your turn
A good conversation is a balanced act of turn taking. This means that you should take your turn to speak as a natural right and also respect the other person's right to speak and be heard.
Limited content
Make your point within your turn, but do not over-do it. Rather than trying to say too much at once, constrain each turn that you have to a single topic or otherwise something that does not confuse or drown the other person in your words.
Limited duration
Do not hog the conversation. Say what you have to say then pass the baton back. People can only absorb so much at once and if you talk too much, they will remember less and less. If you say less, they will remember more.
Watch the other person when you are talking (people often do not do this as they drift off into their private world). Notice if they are really listening. If they are not, then wonder: why am I talking?
Offer back the baton
When you have had your say and made your point, offer them back the baton. Pause, to see if they are pick it up. If they do not, try asking them what they think or another question.
Listen and respond
When they are talking, if you listen you can respond.
Hear what they are saying
If you listen carefully, you can not only hear the words but also the real meaning that they are trying to convey (and maybe even something of who they are).
If you are not sure about something, ask for more information or test your understanding. This is usually appreciated as it shows interest in the other person.
Find the optimal point of interjection
When you feel you have received enough information and want to respond, look for a suitable point at which you can interject.
You can also signal your desire to speak, for example by leaning forwards or pursing your lips as if you are about to speak. Raising eyebrows also helps, as does moving your hands as if you are about to use them in support of speech.
Respond to their point
If they have made a point, rather than dive off into what you want to say, respond to what they have said, supporting or challenging it as appropriate.
At some time you may want to initiate a new topic. Do not break into this when the other person is in the middle of something important to them. Carefully close the current conversation before starting up a new subject for discussion.
Enthusiasm for the subject: Infect them with your passion.
Description
Show that you are interested in what they are talking about. If they are interested in sailing, express a passion for the sea. If they like horses, talk about going to the races. Use probing questions to find out more.
You can also be enthusiastic about something in which you are interested. Be animated. Tell interesting stories. Talk about the subject with passion.
Example
Oh wow! I didn't realize that was how it worked. Please do tell me more.
Discussion
Emotions are contagious, and few more so than enthusiasm. When people see how switched on you are by a subject, they will want to share in the positive emotions and join you in your interest. (Note that the reverse is true, and negative emotions will drag the other person down).
Enthusiasm is
A caveat here: It is very easy to get yourself into deep water if you pretend to know about a subject where they have significant expertise. If you start talking about football with great enthusiasm you may find them enthusiastically asking you questions about specific moves in last week's game.
Also remember that the most powerful way of keeping a conversation going is simply to ask
questions that the other person is interested in answering, and then doing a great deal of
listening.
continuation: conversation techniques- closing
from: Sustaining the conversation
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
CONVERSATION TECHNIQUES- Their Name
Their name
In conversation, the name of the other person is one of the most important things to remember and use. It is easy to get this wrong, so this section gives you a number of things you can do and methods you can use.
Personal name: The most important thing for them.
A person's name is more than an indicator -- it is an embodying symbol that has a highly personal relationship with the person. You can be the other side of the room, talking, and they will not hear anything, but if you mention their name, they will hear it and become attentive.
It is thus important to find, remember, use and manage the names of the people you meet and especially those who you intend to persuade.
In Rome
Roman citizens had three names. The nomen was their gens or family name, such as Tullius and was the equivalent of a surname. The praenomen was the given name and equivalent of a forename, such as Marcus, and was seldom used on its own. Ordinals were often used, such as Primus or Sextus to indicate birth order. The cognomen was a nickname by which the person was known, such as Cicero. Thus the Roman orator Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC) was the cognomen of Marcus Tullius.
Influencing
All sales people know that a person's name is one of the most powerful tools of influence and they will use it carefully, attaching it to key points and when they want particular attention.
Remembering
It is remarkably easy to forget a person's name, often because you have used that name in so many different contexts that it has become unattached as a concept. The trick in remembering a person's name is to attach it strongly to the person. Some ways of doing this include:
Make an aural connection. Repeat their name out loud several times soon after you have met the person. This also helps build rapport.
Remember the name as a forename-surname combination. It is actually easier to remember John-Wilkinson than John alone, because John-Wilkinson is far more unique.
Use visualization. Imagine the person with their name tattooed on their forehead or otherwise written on them.
Use metaphor and analogy. Imagine someone called John 'sitting on the John'. Imagine Mrs Green as painted green, wearing green clothes.
Finding their name: An important initial task.
When you meet a person or know that you will meet them, and do not know their name, then the first task is to find their name.
Get introduced
The most common way to find a person's name, particularly in 'polite company' is to be introduced by someone else. A formal introduction includes the full name of each person and some biographical detail. In a social situation, this may be something about their family or where they live. In work, it is most often about their job.
Introduce yourself
One way of asking-without-asking is to introduce yourself. Say your name (and perhaps a very brief biographical item) and then pause. They should then reciprocate with the same detail. If they do not, you can encourage them with body language such as raising your eyebrows, tilting your head and leaning forward slightly.
Ask the person
You can also, of course, ask the person directly, although beware of appearing impolite ('Who are you??'). Sometimes a few niceties beforehand helps ('Hello, isn't it nice here -- I don't think I've met you before -- could you tell me your name?').
Asking them, done well, shows an interest in them, which is a good way of starting to build rapport. It also shows you as taking the lead. If they follow, then keep leading!
If you forget, all is not lost. It is quite common to forget a name (they may have forgotten yours!). In many situations it can actually be quite a strong thing to display a vulnerability.
Ask someone else
An easy way is to find their name is to ask another person -- not in front of them, of course. 'Who's that person over there?' is a common surreptitious question.
You can also ask a person off-line, for example asking other people in the office about the new person or calling a target person's secretary. Another trick for finding names is to call the company and ask for the person by title -- with luck you'll get a response something like 'I'll put you through to Mr. Johnson now...'.
Or...
Look it up
If you have time, you might find it written down somewhere. At a conference it may be on the list of attendees. At a meeting it may be on the agenda. And of course, there's the marvelous modern miracle: the internet. Companies often have their officers on the main website. And if you are inside the company, the whole directory (possibly even with photographs) may well be at your fingertips.
Wait for someone else
And of course you can wait for someone else to either ask for their name (which may make you look a bit impolite, so get in first if appropriate) or to use their name in conversation.
Remembering their name: Which is easily forgotten!
It is amazing how quickly you can forget a person's name (and how embarrassing this can be). It is well worth learning a few tricks to help fix it in your mind.
One sales-person's trick is to use their name three times within the first couple of minutes. The first repeat is to repeat it immediately.
Hi, my name is Jim.Jim -- Good to meet you.
Then find excuses to use the name or just use it in questions or elsewhere.
My cousin is called Jim.
Are you one of the Berkshire Mongomerys?
Jim, can I ask you a question about that?
If you can, writing it down is a good method. This is easier in a meeting, where you may legitimately write down the names of the people there. This may often be legitimately done, for example if you are running the meeting.
Writing it down may seem embarrassing, but it can actually also say that you find the other person so important that you must keep their name safe.
You can also get them to write it, for example on an email, request form and so on. They may also give it to you written down on a business card (a good way to get their card is to give them your card).
If you remember the person as Jim then you can easily get confused with other Jims. You may also confusing with sound-a-like names, like Tim or Wim. A way around this is to remember the whole name, including forename and surname. Thus remembering 'Jim Montgomery' is more unique and hence can be more memorable.
Play visual games, for example imagining the person with their name written on their forehead or hung in a sign around their neck or above their head. Then when you see the person, you can see the name as well.
Sometimes visualizing is not enough, and you remember only the shape ('It was a four letter word beginning with J...'). This can be helped by including the sound in the memory. You can support remembering the sound by saying it out loud.
Another way is to build a story or ridiculous image around the name. We remember things that stand out, so make the name and the face stand out together. Imagine the person doing something that plays out their name. Make the name itself do something.
For example, with Jim Montgomery, you could have him dressed as a burglar, jimmying open a window on a house on a mountain ('mount') whilst shouting 'gomery cricket!'.
When you hear their name, ask for clarification on such as the spelling of their name ('Is that Isabel with an 'a' or an 'o'?'). If the name is unusual, you might first say what a nice or interesting name it is and ask about its origin.
Short name: Be careful about contractions.
Whilst people have given, first names, they are often referred to by a shortened version of the name.
It is often polite to ask a person what they like to be called. Even if other people call a person 'Tom', you might demonstrate respect by asking them if you can call them 'Tom' too.
Bottom line: When a person has a name that can be shortened, check which version they prefer.
Anthony: Ant, TonyRichard: Rich, RichieJoseph: JoeElizabeth: Bet, Beth, Betty, Liz, Liza, ElizaAmanda: MandySamantha: Sam
The short name is also called the 'diminutive' and may be used by adults to name a child. In this case, having been called this from early life, the person may adopt and accept the contraction.
Children often rebel, however, and the diminutive form may make them feel they are being treated as a child and, as an adult, prefer their full name.
Sometimes parents use the child's full name only when they are admonishing them ('Alexander, come here at once!'). In this case the person may continue to prefer the shortened name into adulthood.
Sometimes the preferred shortened name is something that the person selects themself, perhaps as an act of asserting control and establishing a separate identity.
Use of the short name can be a sign of intimacy and thus may also be associated only with friends. If a stranger uses the short name they may be considered as being too familiar.
Using their name: To connect with them.
Using a person's name in a conversation is a key trick that most sales people know well.
Acknowledging identity.
Using the person's name acknowledges their identity, massaging their Ego and hence boosting their self-esteem. Just by recognizing that they exist, you have done them a great favor (which of course means they now owe you...).
Use this in particular when you want them to feel good about themselves. You can also link it with a particular item with which you want them to associate themselves, such as the idea of which you are trying to persuade them.
Can you imagine yourself, Jane, wearing this out tonight?
Simon -- you can be saved.
Remember that the person's name is a part of who they are. Using their name is like handling the person, so be careful with it.
Have you ever been somewhere when a person used your name, perhaps in conversation with someone else across the other side of the room? A common reaction is to suddenly pay attention. Are they talking about you? Are they trying to get your attention?
When the other person is talking and you want to say something but are having difficulty in breaking into the conversation, saying their name can be an effective way of 'grabbing the talking stick'.
Susan, that's a good point and I'd like to add something important...
When you are talking to a person and they seem distracted or have otherwise disappeared off into their own head somewhere, dropping their name into a sentence will effectively bring them back to a state of attention.
...and when we get to the city, Joe, I think you should be ready to start...
An interesting additional phenomenon is that you will sometimes also be able to remember a few things that were said just before your name was mentioned. This is useful to remember when you say a person's name.
Many people have formal and informal forms of their name. Thus 'Michael' may well be called 'Mike' or 'Mick'. The use of the different forms of the name will have a very internal effect on them, depending on the associations they have.
Formal usage
Very typically, parents and (even more often) teachers use the formal format of a name. People thus will have an association of obedience with the formal style. The implication of this, of course, is that if you want to be obeyed, try using the formal style.
Formality may also dictate use of surnames and honorifics. Thus 'Mr. Jones' or 'Your worship' may be appropriate in various circumstances. Know which is which and be careful before becoming informal.
If in doubt, the formal style is also more respectful. This may well allow you to use it without worrying about reaction.
It may well be worth being careful, however, as the person may have a rebellious response against parents, and the use of the formal style may cause an adverse reaction (so watch the response you get carefully).
Informal usage
The informal style is typically more casual and friendly. Be careful with this, as usage may be seen as too presumptuous. One approach is to ask the person what they prefer to be called, thus gaining permission to use a familiar form (they are unlikely to ask for a formal style unless they really do not like the informal style).
If you can be seen as friendly, then they may frame you as a friend, which then gives you leeway to ask for favors without having done something for them first.
Beware of overdoing it
Be careful when using their name. If you use it too much, then you may well appear to be attempting to manipulate them, which is likely to have the reverse effect to that desired.
Now, Steve, I want you to think about how you, Steve, could benefit from this. Steve, do you think it would work? If anyone could succeed, Steve, it will be you.
Watch them carefully when you use their name: Does it relax them? Do they smile? Or do they look a little irritated or tense. If it is the latter, lay off the name-calling at least for a while.
continuation: conversation techniques- reflecting
from: conversation techniques
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